Why You Still Feel Stuck (Even Though You’re “Thinking About It”)
There’s a pattern I see often in the people I work with - they’re thoughtful, self-aware, capable, and stuck.
Not because they don’t have options, but because they’re trying to make the right decision before they make any decision.
It usually sounds something like, “I just need to figure it out first.”
On the surface, that feels reasonable. Even responsible. Take the time. Think it through. Be intentional.
But more often than not, what’s actually happening underneath is a desire for certainty (or avoidance!). A belief that with enough thinking, enough processing, enough time, clarity will arrive. And, once it does, the next step will feel obvious.
The problem is, that’s not how clarity works.
We tend to think of clarity as something we achieve before we act, as if the sequence is:
Think → Decide → Act
But in reality, for most meaningful decisions, the sequence looks more like:
Act → Learn → Adjust → Understand
Clarity isn’t what enables movement, it’s what comes from it.
When you’re standing still, trying to think your way forward, you’re working against yourself within a closed system - the same inputs, assumptions, and internal narratives. You can analyze those variables endlessly, but nothing fundamentally changes. There’s no new information introduced, no feedback, and certainly no lived experience requiring response.
The thing that changes that is movement, taking a step, any step, allows you create something new in order to allow for reaction:
You gather information you couldn’t have accessed from where you were.
You notice what energizes you and what drains you.
You see consequences, opportunities, tensions, and possibilities in real time.
And slowly, often subtly, things begin to sharpen. Not all at once, but enough to inform the next step.
This is the part that’s easy to miss when you’re in it. The people you admire—the ones who seem clear, decisive, confident, didn’t start that way. They didn’t wait until everything made sense. They moved while things were still uncertain, incomplete, and unclear. That is how clarity emerges.
Overthinking can feel productive because it creates a sense of control, but it often delays the very thing you’re trying to achieve.
A useful question to see if you’re actually in this stuck place, is :
What is one step I could take that would give me new information?
If you’re able to answer it and there’s a step forward that might provide clarity, then you know you’re just in your own way. Your fear may be keeping you in that place of being stuck.
Progress rarely comes from having the full picture. It comes from engaging and allowing that to shape what comes next.
That next step might come with discomfort - what if you:
choose something that isn’t quite right?
should pivot completely?
learn something you didn’t anticipate?
That’s the process working.
The goal is to recognize that uncertainty is often the starting point.
If you’ve been waiting to feel completely clear before you make a move, consider that clarity isn’t something you arrive at first. You build it, step by step, as you go.
If you’re in that in-between space—thinking, circling, trying to make sense of what’s next, I CAN HELP!
Book a success mentorship session with me 👉 iamfingup.com/you.
Also, if this resonates, you’ll likely find similar conversations on The F’ing Up Podcast. Season 4 is coming next month - please subscribe to the F’ing Up YouTube channel now!
Most of us aren’t clear when we begin - we become clear because we begin!
I’m Deanne Rhynard
I’m Deanne — Success Mentor, former Chief People Officer, and host of The F’ing Up Podcast. I work with people navigating difficult career moments — big decisions, being fired, not getting promoted, and the very real feeling of F’ing Up.
Through 1:1 mentoring and unfiltered conversations on the podcast, I help people gain clarity and move forward with intention. We’ll cut through the noise, get to the root of what’s happening, and turn your feelings of F’ing Up into a catalyst for future success.
Book a single session or a 6-session program if you’re looking for honest perspective and real forward momentum:
📅👉https://www.iamfingup.com/you.
Also, please check out The F’ing Up Podcast in which I interview successful people who share honest, unfiltered stories about the moments their careers didn’t go as planned—the doubt, missteps, and identity shifts behind their success. Each episode pulls back the curtain on what it actually feels like to build a career, beyond the polished narratives we’re used to seeing. Through these conversations, listeners gain language, perspective, and clarity for their own messy middle. Because the truth is—we’re all F’ing Up… most of us just aren’t talking about it!
Watch/Listen via:
▶️ YouTube
🟢 Spotify
