Borrowed Confidence During Impostor Syndrome
There will always be people who think you don’t deserve the room you’re in.
They’ll question how you got there.
They’ll assume luck.
They’ll look for the shortcut.
And if you’re honest with yourself, sometimes the loudest skeptic isn’t external at all.
It’s you.
I’ve lived and dealt with impostor syndrome more than once. Even in roles I objectively earned. Even when I had the title, the seat, the experience. I would catch myself thinking, I have no clue what I am doing and I am going to fail!
What helped me the most was the belief that I would figure it out.
That I could learn faster than my fear. That I didn’t need to have all the answers on day one — just the willingness to get after it and keep going.
When my own confidence wavered (which it did, often), I thought about all those who believed in me - those that hired me, promoted me, cheered me on, asked for my advice - I latched onto them and their confidence in me.
This is something we rarely talk about when we talk about success - most people don’t build confidence in isolation. They borrow it from those who help cheer them on from the sidelines.
Every meaningful career I’ve encountered — mine included — has been built while someone else was doubting them.
Being doubted doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong - it means you’re visible. PEOPLE ARE WATCHING YOU BECAUSE THEY DON’T WANT TO BE ALONE IN THEIR FEELINGS OF FAILURE.
This is exactly why the F’ing Up Podcast exists — to tell the stories underneath the polished resumes. The moments where people felt behind, unqualified, or out of place while doing the thing that eventually defined their career.
Ashley Chang’s: “Impostor Syndrome Made Me Feel Behind” episode speaks to this. She speaks candidly about breaking into tech while feeling completely unqualified on paper — and how she learned faster than her fear could keep up. Her story isn’t about sudden confidence. It’s about momentum. About staying in the room long enough to grow into it.
That’s F’ing Up!
It’s continuing anyway.
If you’re waiting to feel “legit” before you move forward, you’ll be waiting forever. If you’re waiting for universal approval, you’ll miss the moment you already belong.
This is also where my coaching work lives. I don’t help people “fix” impostor syndrome — because it’s not a flaw. I help people name it, understand it, and move forward with it instead of waiting for it to disappear. Together, we identify where the doubt is coming from, whose voices you’re carrying that aren’t yours, and how to build enough internal clarity to keep taking action — even when confidence lags behind.
You’re not behind.
You’re not undeserving.
You’re human and just need a reminder that you will find your way.
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Season 4 of the F’ing Up Podcast is coming soon, and these conversations — about doubt, identity, and becoming — run straight through it. And if you’re in a moment where imposter syndrome is louder than clarity, that’s exactly the work I do in coaching - book a session with me!
